Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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