We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
zippers are such a cool invention
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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