At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize