I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize