I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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