halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
