I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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