shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
