Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
