i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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