When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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