Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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