just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
