Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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