Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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