Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
