Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
