I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
