no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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