I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
