He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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