hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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