We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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