Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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