There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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