Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
