Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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