I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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