i permit you to call me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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