I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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