it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
