thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
