He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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