didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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