i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
