I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
