"it" just moved
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize