i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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