It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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