Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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