id be glad to
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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