i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"