Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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(954): View more from Florida

My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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(1-917): View more from New York City

you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...

(917): View more from New York City

oh thats it?

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(206): View more from Washington

Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

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(925): View more from California

don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

(510): View more from California

big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach

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(562): View more from California

I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?

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(217): View more from Illinois

the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy

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