I need help removing her.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.