I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize