If i come over, it means nothing
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house