that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My liver just had a heart attack.
We have started to decorate penises.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
