I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
