Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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