Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
