my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize