This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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