Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
