Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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(254): View more from Texas

Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night

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(914): View more from New York

How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.

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