How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Alive.
So much puke
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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