trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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