So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
