so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
