Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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