I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
