talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
