I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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