When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
