Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love you. Go after that dick
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