Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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