yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
