dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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