We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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