so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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