So drunk its hurt
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
