i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
