It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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