So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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