what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
