I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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